English Banditry (Entries tagged as english banditry)

I know GENKI, I am elite!

nospam@example.com (your host) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:33:52 -0700

One's perception of progress is relative to what he believes is possible. I had thought, however, that there must be some sort of lower limit to it. Apparently not, and ... I can't stop laughing:

Several months ago, for example, I visited the local Japanese conversation group. The Japanese woman who runs the group decided to test my greeting skills: instead of "Konnichi-wa" she asked, "Joe-san, o-genki desu-ka?" (Roughly: "Are you healthy/well?") My mind clicked away for a second while I pulled up one of the early Pimsleur lessons, then instead of saying "huh?" or giving the more frequent response, "Hai, genki desu" ("Yes, I am well") I was able to reply, "Hai, okagesama de" ("Yes, thanks") in my best Japanese enunciation. She wasn't expecting to hear that response, and the look on her face was priceless. I'm no Japanese expert, but I was one that evening.

...

I got to sit with the advanced group and practice saying, "Sumimasen, wakarimasen" ("Sorry, I don't understand") for the rest of the evening. [Source]

In other news, last night I dreamed that I finally made my escape from the hell-hole of English Banditry to greener pastures (Japan?). When I got there, EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE ISLAND NATION HAD BEEN TRANSFORMED INTO AN ENGLISH BANDIT. I ran around frantically crying out in search of a speaker of Japanese. When I finally saw that all was hopeless, I broke down and wept. Yes, I didn't cry, I wept -- profound tears of sorrow.

For anyone not familiar with Ken Tanaka, let me introduce to you one of the most original and genuinely pleasant discoveries I have made on Youtube in quite some time:

How to speak fluent Japanese without saying a word PART 2

KEN TANAKA MEETS JONATHAN SMITH PT 1　外に出て両親をさがす田中

The rest of his wicked cool stuff.

On Idiocy: An Open Letter to the English Bandits Of China

nospam@example.com (your host) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:07:53 -0700

Yes, I mean you, asshole.

STUDYING IN JAPAN

Maybe you were the son of a bitch Chinese foreign student at a party in Japan. When I approached you ever so politely in Japanese, you responded in your retardo English. You asked me things like "How long you study English?”, things I will never understand. As polite as I was to you, you continued to break rapport through our entire "broken" conversation as you tried to burgle my English. Your English is a piece of shit, but you, being the arrogant mother fucker that you are, continued to vomit your disgusting infected wound of an excuse for "English" upon me. I don't know what kind of a tramp you had for a mother, but she certainly didn't teach you the proper manners of polite society. You have a lot of nerve treating another person like you tried to treat me. I did not come all the way to Japan to help a stupid Chinese boy like you who didn't learn English for a shit review the basics of English he should have mastered by age 14. As cool as you thought you were, you sure as shit didn't impress me. There are a million non-native English speakers in Europe and around the world who could walk circles around the ability you MIGHT gain IF AND ONLY IF you were to spend every waking moment of every day for the rest of your worthless joke of a life studying English. I'm sure your little Chinese buddies standing behind you were impressed by what a badass you are, but in the REAL world you were the jackass. The joke is on you, because while you thought you were showing off -- you were the fool. I was replying back to you in perfect Polish and you didn't even notice the difference, YOU STUPID FUCK.

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